Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
