i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
