HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
