Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize