I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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