The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize