I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
