your parents love me but you hate me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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