Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
