There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
