It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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