***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?