Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.