do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.