Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.