Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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