what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer