You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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