hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
