so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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