Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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