thus making me awesome and them whores
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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