hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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