rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
