So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize