I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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