hell yes lets make some ravioli
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
