apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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