Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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