Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
