you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
