I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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