I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
