I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
