my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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