Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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