perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
