Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
