It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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