I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
