Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
