please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
