I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
