Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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