What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
