I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
