Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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