you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
