may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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