no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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