Small penises have feelings too.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
