Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Damn victory sex feels great
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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