you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
