A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
