Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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