I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
