I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
