We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Randomize
