So drunk its hurt
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize