Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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