yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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