No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
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Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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