Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
