got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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