IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
