are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
