**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
"it" just moved
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
