her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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