I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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