I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
