i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
