we made out on top of his cat.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
